Wednesday, August 27, 2008

new day

Every day is a new day with the Lord. It is not always so with those you love. God forgives and lets you start new. Those you love don't always give you that option. Yesteday I lost my temper three times with Isaac. The first time he spilled his speghetti on the floor right after I asked him to sit up correctly. He didn't listen. Then, while I cleaning it up he walked over and put his hands on the couch when I had asked him to wash them in the bathroom. Once again he didn't listen, resulting in a mess that I had to clean up. He didn't seem to care so I yelled again. Finally I was giving Isaac and Allie a bath and I heard Isaac say "don't touch the poop Allie." I asked who had pooped and Isaac said he had. I kept my cool and talked about how that was wrong. I poured water quickly in the other bath tub. When I returned to transfer the two children to the clean tub he was doing it again while standing up. He was just pooping in the tub while Allie watched. All I could think to do was yell. And that I did. When I was done Isaac turned his head so I couldn't see him crying. It broke my heart because he was afraid of me. I told him I was sorry and that I loved him. Deep down in my heart I wondered how long he would remember this...... This morning while I was jogging I passionatly prayed and asked God to help me be better and help him forgive me. When I got home he was awake and yelled "dad!" He was excited to see me. Then he asked where I was and I told him, "jogging and talking to God." He asked if God talked to me and if he was loud or quiet. What a joy. I got to explain to Isaac how God talks to me. God truly does give us fresh starts!

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